HONESTLY, FUCK IT.

 when exactly does a marriage get so bad? when both parties lose total respect and regard for each other? what causes the need to hurt your partner who you once swore to love and protect, what makes you wake up each morning and find different ways to bring him/her down with vile words from the lips you once kissed them with. No matter what society says, no matter the pressure from family and friends, no one should ever feel compelled to enter into a marriage he/she doesn’t feel ready for. No one has the manual for a perfect and happy relationship but everyone seems to have the recipe for a disastrous one as they are so many these days.  A newly wedded couple is constantly advised on  what to do to keep their spouse happy but never on how to make sure they remember to keep themselves happy, forgetting that you cannot give what you do not have. If you are miserable, how do you expect to bring joy to someone else? you find people, women especially giving up on their dreams, becoming a shadow of themselves because of a family/marriage all in the name of sacrifice, forgetting that these things were the sources of her joy before she got married, when they’re gone, she loses herself in an institution that wasn’t designed to favor her in any way.  I’m so sick of seeing women suffer in marriages all in the bid to try and live up to society’s expectations of what/how a good wife and a mother should be, giving up on her self and then having to deal with the hurt of not being appreciated for the daily sacrifices she makes that no one cares to notice, going through the momentary bouts of self-loathe and depression that she tries to drown in nollywood movies or endless episodes of  Telemundo, letting go of opportunities that could better her life just to sit at home and take care of the family, putting herself last in EVERY situation, and not being appreciated for it by the one who’s validation she needs the most. It has to end. I may be grossly biased with this piece but honestly i do not care at this point. I am relieved that the women of this generation are beginning to understand the essence and beauty of feminism, remembering that before/after marriage we are human beings, with valid dreams/aspirations. The scale of preference that governs your life should be based on what YOU see as priorities, it is entirely relative and depends on YOU and you alone. whatever you do, don’t lose yourself trying to please other people. keep yourself happy, keep yourself alive.