Is your hair stylist any different??

​ Why are female hairstylists so loud? and why do they feel a compelling need to engage in mostly unintelligent conversations with their clients? Not even stopping to think if you’re having a bad day and would rather be left alone. This one stylist today tried so hard to make me “talk sense” into her wailing five-year-old (she had told me) daughter while trying to convince her why she couldn’t have meat pie and ice-cream for lunch.  I ignored her and kept my eyes glued to the pages of chimamanda’s Americanah, a book I have been reading for weeks, not because I’m a slow reader but because she’s such a detailed writer I want to savour every moment and try to live in ifemelu’s world. She clearly did not see my reading as important as she kept trying to get my opinion on matters I’d rather not give opinions on … like what I think of the collapsed church in Akwaibom, and if I think the owner of the church is responsible, or if I was as surprised as she was when “Trunk” won the US presidential elections… this particular questioned earned my interest though as I looked up at her and slowly nodded with a forced smile and she clearly took my gesture as interest as she kept rambling on about more topics I couldn’t care less about. I kept wondering if the constant rambling was a general thing or was it exclusive to female stylists. 

One thing clearly baffled me though, how these stylists, mine inclusive kept calling out to potential customers passing on the street…” sweet girl, baby, come let me make your hair, Celine Dion, Agbani (if she’s slim), angel” and if any of these girls passed without paying attention to them they’d snort and say “anam nte ayaya” in my local dialect meaning “she’s acting like she’s fine” and a roaring laughter would ensue. On one occasion though, one of these passers-by stopped and walked towards my stylist after being called “Celine Dion”. They began to talk about the style of the hair she wanted and my stylist said “sorry o, chance no dey” and the lady hissed loudly and left. Her action brought about a whole talk on how “young girls of today are disrespectful because they are having sex with people’s husbands” I closed my book and sat, pondering on the correlation between the two events and then tapped my stylist calling her attention “yes dear” she replied with a surprising enthusiasm as though she was waiting for my input on any topic… I ignored her excitement and asked “why did you call her when you knew you didn’t have chance? I mean you’re not even halfway done with my hair?”  “haba customer, no now, I have to call her, even if she no fit make am today, she fit come back tomorrow, the girl just vex anyhow” she replied… I wanted to ask her if she knows the girl and her schedule but I refrained myself, slowly nodded as though in agreement with her explanation and turned my attention to the customer opposite me who was clearly very dissatisfied with the end result of her Ghana braids as she kept asking her stylist to compare the hair she made to the style she showed her on her phone. I smiled and turned my attention back to my book… I’ve engaged enough I thought as I flipped the pages and returned to ifemelu’s budding relationship with curt.