Does it get Easier?

Can it ever be perfect??????

 

How do I start? What should this one be about?

Should it have a theme? Or should I just go with the flow?

What if it isn’t funny enough?

Or no one relates to it?

 

I can see the words. Feel them even

But penning them down is the chore

Because most times it does not look as good,

As interesting

As it did in my head.

 

Writing is Sometimes limiting

When you try to get everything out

But then you have to streamline the chaotic words

For the sake of the readers

They are all that matter of course.

 

It’s the fear, the insecurity

The annoying voice at the back of my head that says

“Cut this out”, “remove this”, “this isn’t deep enough”

And so I listen… and obey.

 

I read the final work, and it’s good

Really good

But something is missing

Something I can’t figure out

 

After much self-condemnation,

I send it in…

In sheer fear of the possible Criticism

My nails become edible.

 

The reviews come in

Everyone likes it

“Inspiring”, “Beautiful words”, “insightful”

I should feel better, but I don’t

Because I know

It wasn’t good enough.